Balancing Work and Family After Trauma

For a long time, I thought balance meant doing more.
More multitasking. More late nights. More giving.

But if you’ve lived through childhood trauma, you know that no matter how hard you push yourself, balance always feels just out of reach. That’s because childhood trauma doesn’t just shape your past — it shapes your nervous system, and that nervous system shapes how you live today.

Why Balance Feels Impossible After Trauma

When you grow up in an unsafe or unstable environment, your body learns to stay in survival mode. Hypervigilance, over-functioning, and self-neglect become habits. On the outside, you may look like you’re managing it all, but inside, you feel stretched thin.

Here’s the truth: it’s not because you’re weak or failing — it’s because your body was trained to prioritize survival, not balance.

The Cycle of Overwhelm

For me, balance used to mean:

• Saying “yes” to everyone but myself

• Feeling guilty when I needed rest

• Putting work and family ahead of my healing

It seemed noble at the time, but it only kept me stuck in survival. My patience grew shorter, my triggers stronger, and my relationships more disconnected.

The more I tried to “balance it all,” the more imbalanced I became.

A Different Approach to Balance

Healing taught me something life-changing: balance doesn’t come from doing more — it comes from feeling safe enough to slow down.

When I began practicing yoga and DBT skills, I discovered:

• A few minutes of mindful breathing could regulate my emotions more than hours of pushing through.

• Setting boundaries didn’t take away from my family — it gave them the best version of me.

• Balance wasn’t a perfect schedule. It was learning how to return to calm when life felt chaotic.

What Balance Looks Like Now

Now, balance means:

• Choosing presence over perfection

• Making self-care a non-negotiable, not a luxury

• Allowing myself to rest without guilt

• Remembering that healing is the most important work I can do for my family

I’m not perfect at it — but I’ve learned that balance is a practice, not a destination.

An Invitation for You

If you’ve been trying to juggle work and family while carrying the invisible weight of trauma, I want you to know you’re not alone — and you’re not failing. Balance is possible when healing becomes part of the equation.

✨ In my new book, RISING: A Woman’s Journey of Healing Through Rituals, I share the practices and rituals that helped me shift from survival mode into a life of peace, connection, and confidence.

You can pre-order the paperback today or read it for free with Kindle Unlimited.

👉 Reserve your copy here

With warmth,
Mandi